Tuesday, December 30, 2008

How Long It Takes For Braces Picutre

synapses murder or what can cause Suez and Cappuccionos


Hello and welcome to Part II of my previous bad reviews: D Part I is not the new citation rules, whoever wants to do to troztdem:
Brave New World & pink Barbie dream

title incredibly exciting well thought history
tears of war or tears of war

Authors:
phoenix_of_light or thunder-dragon & Haruki_Zorro

The maltreated fandom: One Piece, Yu-Gi-Oh, Inu-Yasha

The hare-brained plot: prevails in a future World 2 *** a gaaaanz wants to conquer evil dictator, because Sue Mayumi using Inu-Yasha from the Middle Ages, Lorenor Zorro from the pirate era and Seto Kaiba from the young modern times. The (nonexistent) story line is just a flimsy excuse to Zorro and Mayumi to marry off.

The anti-quality of the characters: Mayumi embodies the perfect Mary Sue, who can do everything better, continuously herumzickt and adored by all is still, Zorro has lost brain and pride, Seto is non-existent and Inu- Yasha may occur only as a nurse-side kick.

Positives & Negatives: + grammar and spelling predominantly very good +
this time they remain at a single time
form - they can still not able to form some idea
- the characters still have about as much depth as a water glass
- they can stifle any chance of interesting dialogues in a subordinate clause

Excerpt: with a "Ziiiiiiiisch", put on paper with an arrow next to Zorro in the tree (the "Ziiiiiiiisch" was the anguished gasp of a further malträ oriented commas.) . And then someone should say, relaxing morning walk (Na clear, Zorro do in a strange world first a walk. He was also in the Boy Scouts and so on.) .


Chapter 2: The War

(reduced from 1,560 to 686 words) wonder

not, we have decided to write more in the past. (Beautiful intent. While you have already used several times in the last chapter of the past tense, but no matter. Burden us with the * cough * * cough exciting story start *!)

thought what this bastard anyway? Your easy to ram his stupid sword in the arm? (So real man! What does a just such a Sue to violate the no Special! Powers is! Sue? However, I would rather not offend Kitetsu ...) This ... this ... this ... is why was the only such sweet eyes?
Would not distracted me, I would have gained much faster, (and had the sudden italics not distracted me, I would me again about the adjective "sü ;. ß "adversely affected in connection with Zorro) Mayumi thought, when she powered wound in her turquoise blue Canopy bed was.
Good you Ayaka had given a sword fight wounds emergency first aid kit to last birthday (The problem was that the utterance of this word tapeworm in an emergency took too long. Bleeding has quickly). you never thought that they would have used it ever since they (was Sue, who was perfect and everything was so hurt before. The terrible here scratched on her ego and) here but have always been the was only one designed to could handle swords. At least her mysterious appearance worked. She would not walk out of my head ... Zorro or the fact that they knew his name. (muhahahabuhahaw * * Do you hear them on their scary and diabolical cunning evil! Laugh confused plan?)
Unfortunately, she thought sighing the first I'd like better.
They fell asleep exhausted, her last thoughts are with Zorro. The next morning, she slipped into one of their cuddly sweaters and made cappuccino (with the addition of a superfluous comma).
they thought wistfully back to Ayaka, who had known her at all times as Cappuccinotrinkerei synapses murder. (Well, if coffee synapses murder, then This BF is guaranteed synapses mass murder)

Cut: The Sue grabs Opas bow and goes into the forest.

with a "Ziiiiiiiisch" next Zorro put on paper with an arrow in the tree (The "Ziiiiiiiisch" was the anguished gasp of a further maltreated commas.) .
And then someone should say, relaxing morning walk (Yes, yes, Zorro makes an alien world as the first one walk. He was also in the Boy Scouts and so on.) .
No way!
What was the most for a note? .
He read it several times again (and again, repeatedly and on a new one until he understood the text he was already too long in this BF because the presence of a Sue damages the cerebral cortex -> synapse murder. ) , a grin formed on his face.

"Well, you hero, still a bad mood? Or have recovered from your defeat? (The slit abdominal wall is indeed not at all relevant.) You were n 'great opponent. Maybe you want yes times ne Revance! win Well, you would not anyway!

PS:
(Always put under the signature. Slip first time an MS course, Sue, before you rumwirfst herewith.) Maybe I'll help you, all depends how I'm on it degree (for as sueige, prepubescent bitch I'll do everything I want anyway!! * yah *) . I am the way, Mayumi!

(This is now out of the PS) Look up! "

He did and saw another arrow on the tree, but who was so swiftly shot been was that he showed a certain direction. He followed him and found a little later another one.
On his way, following the arrows, he thought about the note by:

as it has only meant: Refers to the 'Great' is now on me, or my Kampfsti? (or does it 'great' as antiquated 'crazy'? "For how long after Zorro thinks about the testimony of others?) ... Oh damn, that women must always be so complicated. As this letter was only meant? She likes me or she does not like me now? (Daisy! Zorro! A truly existential issue, after all, issues like "How do I get out of this dimension back to my friends? "completely irrelevant ...) Grrrr ... (Welch highly philosophical thought ...)

Suddenly, he reached back to its starting point, the redhead has fooled him but actually he was running in circles! (This requires, however, no Sue, he would also attempt it alone.) But another piece of paper hung on the tree.

(...)

"You did that on purpose, you stupid cow! (See Och ever. Zorro stomp her like a toddler offended with his foot and cry?) , "he shouted angrily into the forest (and how to call to go in, comes around:)

" What else? But you had the fifth arrow looked exactly once in the trees, at least would be one of your problems have been solved. Oh, and myself stupid! , P ("! Yourself, himself, all say stupid calves" No, seriously, it's even kind of kindergarten moderate?)

shit, now I have the others for better or worse tell all
(er - no, you could simply tell them that you happen during your walk what you discovered and conceal the sueige and degrading scavenger hunt ...) , he thought säuerlic and called for the two.

Cut: There are a not visible from ground level tree house, that, however, two beds, a sofa, a refrigerator, a stereo, a kitchenette, a spa etc. contains. Inu-Yasha gets the dog place on the black sofa assigned that bites with his white hair (Nice, that black and white bite, but not the red hair of her turquoise Sue Sue! Poster bed). Furthermore, he finds a note on the Mayumi forbids them virtually in the city to go, Zorro and Inu-Yasha recommends a battle training area, bequeathed Kaiba a "brand-new" notebook and we can all be more sympathetic with this statement: I know that it will be hard for you not to look for me, but if you really need me, I am there.
do not have to snatch her female intuition!


on the battlefield enjoyed themselves while the two swordsmen (rrraw * * So if that was not ambiguous times ...) . In a respite, the two used to the soft forest floor to "test" (Take care Sue! SlyDog! Inu-Yasha you grade spans from Zorro!) , of course, would admit none of the young men, KO as he really was, (this endless hypotaxes, from which this sentence was constructed, which should probably staring demo intellectuality, they made serious finished) they came a little talk.
long time they talked about different worlds with all their quirks and weird Kreaturten, even while they discovered unexpected common ground (This discussion, however, drives the narrative forward dome not, so let's just out.) .
But suddenly clear in a moment, it just slipped out Zorro (Ah, I sincerely believe it holds for an absolute morons Zorro - he has a lucid moment and can not find the way back around ( btw could Inu-Yasha Just open a portal), no, he says this:) :

"Hey dog, you believe in love at first View? " (* headdesk * As if he would ask such a thing ... He is not the type to something" slips out "...)

he regretted his words already a second later ("I've never done anything that I regret later." Adieu, character. It was nice to you. TT ) , the more surprised him Inu Yasha-response.
"Yes ..."
Zorro started.
"... but if you want me now to confess your deep love, I must disappoint you!" (Schenkelklopfer! -.-)
Buy Both were on their feet and beat him with their swords at each other again.

Cut: The next morning wakes up the Sue inflamed arm, as they in their infinite stupidity simply has anything on it lubricated from the sword fight wounds, emergency first aid kit TM without first leaflet to or see doctor or pharmacist to ask what. Lack of alternatives, she pulls herself up at the boys to ask for help. Zorro goes Uri Geller, as he wakes up with headache and an "uneasy feeling" on and decides that something must have happened. Well, it would not Zorro I would say he 's got a hangover ...

found on his night reconnaissance mission Inu-Yasha a red-haired girl who was unconscious on the floor. Could this be the girl had told of the Zorro? Externally, they took care of his description, but it was she really? (why he / she is rhetorical questions, why he was suddenly able to speak French? Cold Mirror ftw! ^. ^)
Whether she is or not, she definitely needs help, dachte er, ich glaube kaum, dass ein Mädchen uns gefährlich werden könnte. (Und das denkt ausgerechnet Inu-Yasha... <.<)
Mit diesen Gedanken hob er sie auf (denn sie war zu schwer als dass er sie allein tragen könnte) und trug sie behutsam in Richtung Baumhaus.

Cut: Krankenschwester!Zorro macht der Sue kalte Umschläge, Desinteresse!Seto kocht Kaffee und Sidekick!Inu-Yasha geht mal wieder Wundkräuter sammeln...

Meet you again at Chapter 3: Ayaka, which serves the same Geek welcome Sue!.