Bandana Kates Playground

It's a dark night. ..

title of the story: Supernatural_Stories

Fandom: Supernatural

Author's Name: -Sam Winchester

spelling and grammar : - uppercase and lowercase matter of luck

; ; - Missing many typos, letters and dive for it somewhere else again

- Rules for ß / ss unknown

+ Grammar on the whole OK

unnerving flaws in the style : Thoughts label / / ...//

anti quality of the characters: Dean is underexposed and Sam unbegrü ; Raft aggressive

Positives: not bad idea, the problem is just kind of big in the implementation. Beta Readers
Word or self-correction would not be a bad beginning.

The plot: Dean and Sam looking at a Chicago-The Ring Samara blend.

Excerpt: finally arrived in Chicago by car, they noticed the same, that the city
just prior to ELTE people wim m . (OMG! Chicago is a city and live there
many people? Btw they were already at least once in Chicago in 1x16 ...)
unusually n for Lich attack a spirit or demon in such a city. "Let us consult
hook first time her boyfriend." Sam said, pointing to a house outside the center .
(Are they on a vantage point or what?) drafts you to the need (* ouch *
The poor concerns . The poor German language.) of j changes man.

is my first slating here, hope everything fits so far:)

Chapter 1: 1

virus

section: Autorenvorwort and useless copy of the leader of Salvation

Chicago

section: A young student potters to speed on their homework when she suddenly gets an e-mail. Terrified

Startled by by the loud beeping, she read the text carefully. ... "You will die!" (And not even seven days! Always this hectic!)
The young woman laughed and nodded slightly. (The most typical reaction to a threat of death. Be cool!) "Well sure," and she amused her cell phone out of his pocket and dialed her friend. "Hello?" Asked a male voice. "Thank you for this e-mail! But Helloween (Hello Ween! How are you?) is only in a few weeks! So ... I unfortunately do not fall on in! "she said giggling. "Samenta, (there is this spelling at all?) what you mean," asked her friend a bit confused. Suddenly, after the girl turned up a cable to the computer, it winds up on the chair where she sat. "Oh come on, that's just your sense of humor," said Samenta. "How shall I have sent you that? I am in boxing. For two hours. " (. An absolutely airtight alibi on the phone) antworete the young man

section: An evil computer cable strangled the poor Samenta. Evil. Two days later

:

section: Sam looking on internet for a job for himself and Dean, while taking a shower The summit for several hours. Found is the presumed suicide of a 23-year-old woman who has been strangled with a computer cable.

"Well, maybe it was suicide." Dean said. "It says here, they sought a Scholarship at Oxford University, with an average of 1.3, she amazed the senators. (The English Senators? Uhm, that Oxford is not in the U.S., is familiar?) Whoever brings the order with such a life? " (Genau! Because it never been so depressed and broken on the pressure to perform student has! And certainly not in the USA!) "I! Something normal. "Dean said, grinning and struck in his bed. (* ouch * The poor bed.) Sam rolled his eyes. He was still of the opinion that there is no harm could a normal life, but he could really Dean not imagine. (It's also hard to imagine someone sitting next to you.) "Well, we can look around there tomorrow." Said the younger of Winchester and sound of his laptop ended and the light . "Mhh .. how far's that? "Dean muttered annoyed. "In Chicago." (How far is it? In Chicago. A clear answer. On the wrong question.) antworetet him his little brother. "Oh man, that are intended for 50 km. (= 31 miles. What an incredible distance! For Deans driving safely not less than two weeks trip to reach ... * sigh *) Can not you look for something near, Sammy ... for example in the motel room. Everything else is too far away! "he prabbelte afterwards. Sam seuftzte.

It was still early in the morning and Sam was awake. (OMG! Sam wakes up in the morning! It will melt in the sun!) The sun literally slammed into the motel room which was ungewöhmlich for the time. (In the U.S., the sun that is generally only two clock in the afternoon. ) "Dean ... ! Get up, "he said. When nothing happened, he took a shoe and threw it at Dean. (I lost my shoe! - You did not. You threw it at me.) Its bad luck that his brother had just hit his head. "SAM?" He cried, frightened and angry. "What the fuck ... (either English, and the right, or leave it to yourself ...) it is only seven clock in the morning. Do you want to surround me? " (Sam surrounded Dean. Is he Elastic girl?) asked Dean and settled back to bed. "Do not exaggerate times, sleepy heads." Sam said, getting up from his bed. "Come on, we have to go a whole corner," (The enormous Namely distance of 50 km.)

finally arrived in Chicago by car, they noticed the same, that the city just before swarming people. (OMG! Chicago is a big city, and since many people live? Btw have you been there at least once in Chicago in 1x16 ...) Unusual attack for a spirit or demon in such a city. "We questioned hook first but once her friend." Sam said, pointing to a house outside the center. (Are they on a vantage point or what?) drafts you to the need (* ouch * The poor concerns. The poor German language.) the young man. Dean was running as usual without thinking to the front door. (With head first against the door. * Head door *) This time the door stood wide open. (Also Dean falls headlong into the house. Ouch.) brought a moving company furniture outside. Also owns the house went out. "Sorry! Are they Lonos Jack? "Sam asked quickly. "Yes, why? Have we met? "Asked the man" No, we only have a few questions for them. "Dean said, and looked a bit grim. "Even police again? I've already said everything I ... Samentas of death! "antworetete Jack knows something angry. (Yes. His girlfriend has died, but why he should help in the investigation of the case? Moreover, the presented two statements do not even provide what he says then, that there are police officers?) Dean had to resist strongly the laughter . "Samenta" he asked one more time after. ( Yes, the name is spelled weird. At least I'm not the only one who noticed that.) heard in his voice is literally a fit of laughter, but the the Sam passed him again as he gave a strong push in the stomach. He saw his big brother to bite, and ordered him to literally keep his door. Jack wanted to be angry (the boy is but a choleric as described in the books ...) translated back into Bewegeung but Sam stopped him and asked again.

Editor: Jack explains that he did not write the message and then makes himself from the field.

"What do you mean? Should we go to her apartment and look around, "asked Sam. Dean nodded and he began to laugh again. (Nod After five minutes he had to laugh because of a brain trauma.) "Sam-enta! Haha! (Oo The worst pun I've ever read ...)

Late at night the two brothers broke into the room of the deceased woman. They saw something in secret, until they noticed a computer screen flashed again and again. Dean took out his MEF (measuring erlektrischer fields) (The Hey! are my brackets! And the thing is called EMF reader or meter, but certainly not MEF!) and investigated so the computer. "What I mind!" he said, pointing to Bildschrirm. (For Dean, the old country bumpkin, had in his life seen a computer, and therefore held it for a supernatural being.) Sam tart closer and touched the computer easily. Suddenly he sat up the hard disk. "If do what anfässt ..." Dean said, grinning.

Editing: The Two heard a noise and hide in inconspicuous. The neighbor girl who is the proud 10 ½ years old, heard a noise and wanted to review the situation. * * Dun.dun.DUN

Suddenly it thundered again. It came from the kitchen. Sam was back on and took Kathy's hand. He sat on a chair. (He Kathy's hand on the chair please what?) "Can you wait here shortly, we will bring you back again, okay?" Asked Sam and the girl nodded. Dean took out his gun, which Katty (like now, Katty and Kathy?) Had ren behold d . When the two brothers were in the next room, she noticed that the computer screen flashed. Cheerful staggered (you should be as young children in the evening not so much vodka can drink!) it back and sat down. "An e-mail ..." she squeaked pleased. "I like getting mail," she said, and it clicked on (the e-mail) . ... "You will die!" Shocked Kathy stood on it and ripped out the cable from the computer. Sam and Dean looked at the kitchen, but there was nothing to watch (The two are somewhat underprivileged and staring at the kitchen * drool *) . Meanwhile, the cable started to move the computer itself. Katty wanted to run away but the cord wrapped around her neck and she fell to the ground. She began to cry and scream (Which would be difficult if one is being strangled) what Sam and Dean once animated the living room to come. "Kathy!" Cried the two. (...) "Do something!" He called out to Dean. He took his gun and shot deliberately through the screen of the computer. The computer broke up suddenly, like as if he was just a Illosion. The cable (This does not dissolve? What is Dean but for a lousy shot.) to Kathy's neck loosened at last.

section: to bring the two back to the bellows Mom, who now wants to buy an alarm system. Although they still have no idea what's going on, they are pleased with the progress of the investigation ...

Sam spent his free time trying to reschaschieren the web. (also a form of phonetic spelling.) Dean took time fresh air and went into a bar (Weil's always so nice and fresh in the air bars.) It was quite late at night and it was difficult someone there. / / Chicago Night Life ... Tss .. / / Dean thought. Auf_einmal he noticed a man he had ever taken traff . "Hey Jack, do you?" Said Dean sat down next to it. This nodded. "The tach Polizissst of neulisch," he mumbled, and you could tell he had a few beers being drunk. Sam had las be learned by a few articles, where he, that there were many suicide cases in this area had given, at least it should have looked forever. There have been cases because people should have beaten, strangled, some were also (known to be most common suicide species) . Jack and Dean talked a bit. Dean hoped more from him out of it. "Yes, yes ... my Samenta was murdered by a legend! This is klärschen yes right? "Said Jack. Dean could barely understand a word. "Why Legend?" He asked. "In this area there is the legend of Sarah Hagen. It was many years ago, an outstanding student who had an average of 1.3. But she was upstaged by someone with the average of 2.0. "He said, now miraculously sober. (Sing Hallelujah and praise the Lord, I will also be times as a miracle.) "And?" Poked by Dean. Somehow, he had a strange feeling in the Magendgegend (It's Dean. Probably he is hungry.) . In the motel where Sam was suddenly began to flicker the lights. Still, he could not distract (namely Sam lost all his hunters instincts.) . "This Sarah was put out, because their counterparts, the female senators bribed. But she was with. So no one could know the she was "disposed of". Now she takes revenge on all who have an average of 1.3 (This makes no sense. Should they not take revenge on those with an average of 2.0? Moment. I am looking for a meaning? My mistake.) . Complete nonsense ... " (My talk!) he babbled on and put his head on the Thresen to sleep.

section: Dean noticed after some time of reflection, that Sam had the same average, surprise! The will receive a mysterious e-mail that the unsuspecting Sam also opens the same time after which strangle the spirit of it.

The moment Dean banged loudly on the door (forward, as always with his head.) . "Sam," he said. His brother stirred any more. Dean remarked (after another five minutes of stand there and stick depp thinking) the spirit that saw him angry. "Also, you will die," she hissed darkly. "NO, WRONG! THE YOU WILL! " (these sophisticated threats!) called and he straightened his gun at her and fired. He immediately turned to his little brother and tried to unwind the cable. Sam was difficult to breath again, it was only a gasp. Dean supported him and put him on the bed. "Really! ! Every time I leave you alone, you have the same a cable around his neck "(see Episode 9) (That was almost funny No, not really..)

section: Dean has apparently forgotten how to do a Spirit does and is sure that they dead.

"In the city there was a legend that told me about Jack. Also, the trigger for this Geistergöre. "Dean grinned and said proudly. "Dean, tell, you take drugs?" (The question, however, I am even more ...) asked Sam. Dean looked at him quizzically. "Why?" "Because Jack after the death of his girlfriend, is immediately flown to Europe. (and has taken all his furniture because he usually gets homesick.) How should he have to be there yesterday in the bar? "Said Sam, shaking the head. Dean just looked at him confused. (? * Think * * * ratter Huh)

Editor: Jack really was Jess' mind .


Credits to peaches for first reading and lj's tips: D