I found an official writing contest, where you can submit novels from a length of 40 pages. Since I to the deadline can not be done with my book, it can also allow fantasy, I thought I try to use a story I wrote 10 years ago. So I come finally to revise it to me, what I decide for years.
The problem is that I myself have never really read fantasy. I have (10 years ago) only once a "getaway" in the field arose placed in the this story. As the story just the second has been in my life, it is in language and expression are a little weak on the chest, I will do now.
I post here is my preface and the prologue and I would appreciate any criticism and opinions on your part a lot. Only to find out times, as they go down too and if it no longer acts as if a 16 year old thought her unworthy salad in German on paper. Urgent help, I could also use the commas. This has always distributed as at with a shotgun because I found the art of commas not dominant ^ ^ " Cough and I jump like a rabbit by the time * * but I think that would be even ...^^"
Oh and can I maybe a day, "Poster: Inge McMax" have? Would be super sweet, thank you!
preface
An angel is born as a human being.
completely naked and without wings.
Only when he comes of age and for the first time he gets his wings stretched the power of heaven and becomes higher to a Beings as human beings.
But the wings are like a radar. Who develops once the eye of the Creator can not escape.
Prolog
Once created, the Lord Angels and men. All were from the male gender, revered him and had sworn eternal loyalty. Out of nowhere, but suddenly appeared a female human child. No one knew where it came from, not one time the Lord himself could explain. Initially suspected of the devil, but he protested his innocence and claimed he had nothing to do. After some hesitation, God let the child be large and even found pleasure in the shape of the woman. Their charm. Their beauty and their diversity. But it was so different from men. So he created other women. Not only among humans but also among the angels.
grew One day, however, the interest in the opposite sex and not the Lord, but the mistress was in the first place. Men swore eternal loyalty to the women and vice versa.
Love was born.
The Lord, however, was furious and the woman was blamed on Betrayal. Only by their appearance and their charm it come to this. She had brought evil into the sky. Angels and men to sin. The sin to turn away from the Lord. People were not care. They were nothing more than a pastime, which he gladly watched. The quarrels between men to women were for him a welcome change. But the Angels, he considered his superb work, his masterpiece of creation, he could not forgive. The highest and most powerful angel he had ever created, but that did little. On the contrary, this was the love make a living being worth living.
In protest and rebellion against the Lord, he gave birth, the sex was without a child. A daughter.
you only a few days old when the Creator in his anger, decided to all female angel in crystal block. They banish from memory and the hearts of men and thus restore order in the sky. In a moment of carelessness, the Lord took his highest angels caught as the first. Because this can only as the Creator had all the power and would apply themselves well against the Lord and stop him. The angel cried out in anger: "You Women can not drive out of the sky! "
" I can! And I'll start with your daughter, "scoffed the man in the madness. Fearing for his daughter and the continued existence of heaven, gained the highest angels of its energy.
"You will never get it! I will never leave you! "He cried to the Creator even before it releases its energy.
But whatever he intends also had seemed to fail. The sky was lit but for a brief moment in glaring light, but then it went out empty-handed and the mighty angels fell because of the high energy loss in an eternal sleep.
Now no one could oppose the Lord and he was relentlessly chasing women on the angels, and shut her in the perpetual crystal.
He chased them all, until he finished the last as an eternal monument in crystal and banished them to a secret place that no one knew except him. He wanted them all sent to the irrevocable death, but even if he could give them life, not take it again in his power.
And so the angels wife disappeared from the sky and the Lord was now feared as a ruthless ruler. However, a Woman, a baby, remained undetected and lost. The daughter of the archangel. She had disappeared without a trace. How swallowed by the clouds.
The Lord thought that the most powerful angels have killed her to spare her the eternal sleep in the crystal and not grant him the satisfaction. The satisfaction of something as powerful as this woman, his daughter to have.
The hunt for the women of the angel heaven was almost completely destroyed. The male tried to rebel angels to the women and the Supreme liberate and protect. But in vain. Many were slain in the fighting, killed or overthrown.
They were powerless, and to know the Angels have not disappeared completely from the sky and the world gave the Angels fought and laid down their weapons. They apologized for their disobedience to God and swore to him new and everlasting loyalty.
accepted God and forgave them. However, since time immemorial were strict rules in heaven and who is not obeyed, was punished with death. God had enough of the world in which they lived. The sky was always destroyed and people had lost their appeal. This world had lost its charm. It was time for something new. A new beginning.
And thus the Lord has created something new. A parallel world into which he moved with the remaining angels. He took the man, the memories of the sky and its inhabitants. Only in him, they should remember, as a merciful and loving Creator of this world. Then he left the world we know today. In which we live today. The world in which we count the year 2010 AD.
In the new world that had the same basic principles as our own, he created a human world with both sexes. A world that as we went through evolution and development over time, but ours is far behind.
But he never created again a female angel!
said in a celestial legend, which would cause the blood of the daughter to awaken the angel women.
The floor of the tomb, the women slept in the eternal crystal is provided with a fine branches of grooves and crevices. Similarly, the base of each crystal with this pattern would be associated to the ground.
Legend has it that when the blood of the daughter flows through the channels and feeds the base of life will be breathed her life the angels women back into the sky.
The last hope remains that the Angels. The last hope to cling to many of the secret. The hope that takes place in the hearts of some angel food, and has thus enabling survival in the sky.
A hope which is slowly dying. For it is deleted for too many millennia into the country without the daughter appeared ever!
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